BY ANDREW CARRUTHERS, CULTURE AMBASSADOR FOR SAM VILLA
I’ve definitely met some people who have great relationships with the “New Year’s Resolution," but when you ask most people how they feel about them, the response is usually one of disdain. How come? Because there is a ton of build-up and expectation. The oxytocin rush of dreaming about the person we will be when we crush this new goal builds a wave of motivation…and then, two weeks into January we are losing steam. By February 1, the goal is a figment of the past. Then comes the rush of stress hormones as we beat ourselves up about our lack of commitment, laziness, frequent failures, etc. This isn’t adding up to a picture that we would look upon fondly.
So then, why do we keep repeating this pattern and expecting a different result? The answer is simple: We haven’t learned a new approach and our body is built to run on previous habit even if that habit has never produced the results we want. So, rest assured, it’s very human and very common to have this experience. And here is some more good news…you have many other options if you are willing to step off the old path (you already know where that one goes) and explore in a new direction.
First things first: To try something new, we need to let go of our need for the “perfect” result. Yes, I know this ain’t easy friends! We’ve been taught our whole lives to have specific and measurable goals that push us beyond our current belief of our own potential. Millions of self-help books and billions of memes on Facebook and Instagram cheer us on to blow our goals out of the water. And to be clear, I love those books and memes when it’s the right situation. Let’s also recognize that our deep hunger for mind-blowing results has often led us to pile expectations on our shoulders that are overwhelming and exhausting. Remember, the idea here is to NOT repeat the behaviors that have consistently led us back to disappointment! Can you let go of results for the moment to step into exploration?
So, what can we do instead?
- Create a New Year’s Intention. My long-time coach Lyn Christian introduced me to this way back in the mid 2000s. We create a vision for how we intend to live our life the next year; who we want to be in our daily life, how we want to experience our time on this planet, and what it looks like to live life with that intention. Once we write this out, we need a “talisman” to remind us of this intent every day. One year, my intent was to live with a more abundant mindset, and I found this really adorable little jade turtle sculpture that just seemed to exude the energy of abundance. That little turtle lived on my nightstand for the entire year as my morning reconnection to my intention.
- Vision Board. The idea here is to create a visual representation of the journey we want to have throughout the next year. This can contain specific objects or goals we desire, as long as we include the “why." For example, I wanted a new camper trailer last year. Yes, a picture of the trailer would have been a great reminder of the object, but what was even more important was why I wanted the trailer. I wanted to take trips into mother nature with my family, which is my favorite place. Even MORE important was how it made me feel. It brought peace, love, connection and excitement into my life. This is the rich energetic link we need to sustain our motivation and stay on our journey. So, get creative and build out a visual of not just the “what," but also the deeper “why."
- Skip It All Together. Another option is to create a lifestyle of consistent exploration so that we don’t feel the pressure of viewing the New Year as an impending demand for us to change. And for real, the best way to do this is to hire a coach. Since 2006, I’ve either had a coach as part of my monthly budget or I’ve been trading coaching with my peers in the coaching world. Nothing in my life has ever produced a greater return on my investment above my regular coaching calls. I have a lifestyle of self-exploration and personal development that supports me 24/7, not just at the beginning of a new year.
I still view the New Year as an opportunity to reflect on my journey and to set fresh intentions. There is true magic in the air as we transition through the winter months and step into a new beginning.
I hope this has rekindled some fire within to explore into the New Year with fresh perspective. Leave the heavy-handed goals behind for once to create space for a new experience and set an intention fueled with motivation that lives deep within the heart and soul.